2012

I just woke up from a really horrible nightmare. And in that dream, I dreamt that I was doing a reflection in a museum(?!). It was a really weird dream as I dreamt of my granny who passed away last June and also an unknown cousin who passed away too(all my cousins are still alive and kicking). Maybe my dream is hinting to me to put up this post. So here it goes. 

2012 has been a really tough and challenging year for me, mentally, physically and emotionally. In fact, I think I went into a mental turmoil for a really long time. 2012 passed too quickly. Mistakes are made, and I witness myself changing. I have kind of changed so much that I don't even recognize myself sometimes. 

So my year started out with entering a new school. I can still remember the day where I stepped into Hc, the moment where I sat alone in the canteen, surrounded by a HUGE crowd of Nanyang girls. There were weird stares and awkward smiles. It was horribly awkward I swear. 

Thank goodness the awkwardness faded few months into college. I was making new friends and getting a hang of the culture there. But I guess I wasn't adapting well in terms of their basketball system and also academically. I was too comfortable in my previous teams and the sudden change in the system in this new team actually made me dislike something which I really love playing. I hated basketball for a period of time. It was quite horrible at the beginning, or rather it was kind of a nightmare. There was a period of time where I was in my top condition and soon after, my momentum plunges down. Despite all the downs, there are ups as well. I'm really thankful to have meet some really good friends in the team. ^^ 

There was a long period of time, probably from May all the way to October where I had a cold war with my parents. At that time, expectations killed me. Guess I was too overwhelm by the stress back then and that my parents was busy with their work every single time. Oh well, both parties are at fault. But guess what, after that huge tiff with them, our relationship actually improved by a lot. Yeap, it takes two hands to clap. I really love my parents a lot and am really grateful for them. 

Last June, the sudden death of my granny made me realize the feeling of losing a kin. It didn't feel good. Though I am not very close with her as I only know her for merely 6 years but she's indeed a very respectable woman. 

This whole year would have been better if I did not make a wrong decision which distracted this entire year. But nonetheless, I did not regret a single bit. It made realize so much of myself in this short year. I realised that my greatest fear is actually making mistakes, then finding it hard to forgive myself.

2012 taught me so much. 2012 changed me and pulled me all the way down to hell. BUT BUT BUT... I'm extremely thankful for the people who never leave me behind and those great friends who I made this year. Guess I wouldn't be alive without them. Though 2012 brought shitty moments to me, it also brought the awesomest people one could ever find in the universe :.).

 THANK YOU MY FRIENDS ♡ I LOVE ALL OF YOU YOU YOU YOU AND YOUUUUUUU

2013 is going to be better. I do have a choice now to make it better or carry on this whole damn thing. It all starts with a positive mind. yes? 

I'm going to make 2013 better and it all starts by giving up on something I hold dearly. Ironic, but yes. 

ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE OUT THERE!! The world did not end last year, so we have to make the best out of this year. 

P/S: One final Chemistry paper which determines my life in 2013. I can't wait! 

Till then.